Benny Hinn…Hair, Toupee or the Power of the Holy Ghost?
GRAPEVINE, TX – As televangelist Toufik Benedictus “Benny” Hinn ambled across the sprawling stage at Hollaback Church, several thousand people rose to their feet to welcome the famous speaker.
Typical of Hinn, his designer three-piece suit and Versace shoes commanded attention and his perfectly veneered teeth gleamed with the light of the Holy Spirit (or possibly the thirty-eight high-beam spot lamps).
After a modest eighteen minutes of bowing and waving to the applause, the televangelist motioned the crowd to settle into their seats and leaned into the podium to speak:
“For years a debate has raged quietly among you. I have been accused of many things by Satan’s and those that serve him. They are faithless and without hope. Now, many of you have begun asking questions: ‘Is it real? Is it all just an elaborate hoax? Is it truly the Holy Spirit at work?’ and tonight the lord is going to answer that very question!”
Again, the crowd roared to life as chants of “
Graciously, Hinn accepted the additional praise and nodded to his fans in approval.
“I want to set things straight, my children. It is not a hoax. It is as real as real can be. It is unmoving, it is unchanging, it is unyielding, it is unshifting, it is the power of the Holy Spirit in my hair.
The stiffest wind will not part it, and the wettest rain cannot drench it. It is SEALED in the POWER and MIGHT of God, and the 36oz of Aqua Net®, available at WalMart, Walgreens, and many fine stores in your area. Please visit the table in pavilion D for a coupon worth 25 cents off.”
We at the Cee can see the glory – even with our low-quality photoshopped image.
Reportedly Samson is jealous and not even Moses could part it.
However, Hinn declined to comment whether his perfectly sculpted helmet-mane has been recruited by the Avengers in the fight against Thanos.
Reporter: Furious Christian