Benny Hinn to Retire from Ministry, Open Restaurant

Televangelist Benny Hinn shocked the Christian world last month when he announced that he was forsaking the Prosperity Gospel as blasphemy.

Many wondered what that would mean for his ministry, not to mention his lavish lifestyle. Would he give up his $4 million mansion? Would he keep any or all of his personal jets? Would he stay in ministry or would he leave the ministry and possibly retire seeing as how he is 66 years old and eligible for both Medicare and Social Security?

At a press conference today, Mr. Hinn laid to rest some of those questions. “I will be winding down my responsibilities at Benny Hinn Ministries and our television program, ‘This Is Your Day’ over the next several months and shift my focus during that time to my new passion, opening a chain of American restaurants in Japan.”

“Our first restaurant – one of many which will be opening on all of the Japanese islands over the next 5 years – is scheduled to open in Tokyo on January 1st. Our restaurants will feature American chefs with, ‘Kiss the Cook’ aprons, sitting in lawn chairs, grilling American fare such as hamburgers, hot dogs, ribs and steaks while performing simple tricks to amuse and delight our customers. We believe our restaurants will become a popular destination for office parties and birthday celebrations…really, anyone who wants to have a good time watching their food prepared right at their table.”

The new restaurant chain will be called, BennyHinnas.

Reporter: Jeff the Comma Head