Calvinist Hipster Celebrates No Shave November by Continuing Beard Growth

Church Life

Peter Livingstone, a 28-year-old Calvinist hipster is celebrating the 6th anniversary of the first time he observed “No Shave November”; the time he began growing his beard.

For this year, he wants to celebrate with something unique, but since his man bun is so tight that it is cutting off the blood to his brain, he can’t think of anything.

So, he asked his spouse Ginger what kind of statement he could make to really show how serious he is about defeating cancer.

She was also unable to come up with a gimmick, therefore, the couple decided that he would just continue to grow his beard as he has been doing for the previous six years.

Like a stalactite, Peter is averaging about an inch of beard growth per year and has no plans of stopping any time soon.

His heroes and inspirational gurus are the guys from ZZ Top as well as Willie Robertson from Duck Dynasty fame.

When asked how he would make a statement of support for the American Cancer Society next year, Peter answered, “Well, I hadn’t really thought about it, but I will probably just keep growing out my beard; and possibly look into a mullet,” to which his wife threatened to divorce him if he really does the mullet thing.

Please pray for their marriage.

Reporter: Angry Nursery Worker

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