Calvinists celebrate depravity on Fathers Day 2020

What better way for Calvinists to celebrate Father’s Day 2020 than to point out the depravity of their earthly fathers?

The children gather round their father’s bed first thing in the morning, and chant together the manifold failings of their earthly father. After this, each child takes turns to describe the mistake that has personally caused them the most hurt.

“It’s a beautiful time,” says Jim father of 4 children, “I love how they all come together as family to tell me of my sins.”

“Thinking that I’ve been an ok dad is a common temptation of mine,” says Bruce from Illinois, “but father’s day is a great reminder of how much I’ve messed up my kids. I mean I had no idea just how poor a job I have done this last year.”

But what do the children make of this?

“Some of my friends at school build up resentments and it eats them up inside,” said Josh aged 8, “but there’s something so cleansing about just letting my dad know how rubbish he is and how he’s let me down and messed me up psychologically.”

“In our family after we pepper our dad with all the stuff he’s done wrong, he then hits himself with a stick saying ‘mea culpa’,” said little Maisy aged 5.

Reporter: John Spencer (aka Not the Bible)