Church Board Spends Entire Meeting Debating Which of Them is Most Humble
Casper, Wyoming – This morning at approximately 5 am Mountain Time, Pastor Larry Fuller emerged from his church, walked slowly to his 1995 Ford Taurus, opened the door, and caved to exhaustion falling promptly into his driver’s seat. Pastor Fuller had just suffered through what experts are calling the “Worst Board Meeting of the Year.”
Since 6:30 pm last night, when the board meeting started, two of its members began to, disagree about which of them was the most humble servant of the church. Tyler Griggs and Lenn Michaels began to get more and more frustrated with one another, each one insisting they have given more, prayed more, and wept more for their church than the other. The argument lasted almost 11 straight hours with no other business being tended to.
“Tyler, he’s a good guy,” said Pastor Fuller, “but his humility is such a source of pride for him, once Lenn mentioned how he mowed the church’s yard last week, the argument began.”
“That man is a tumor in the body of Christ!” Mr. Michaels stated after the meeting, “Jesus needs to send down some Holy Spirit chemotherapy to get him out of this church!”
Mr. Griggs declined to comment, stating that a truly humble person, such as himself, would never dare argue with someone as “foolish and prideful as that Lenn Michaels character.”
Both men have served on the board at First United Church (a non-denominational church family) since the mid-1980’s. Pastor Fuller has stated he will discuss with both men, separately, the future of their positions within the church.
Only one item had originally been on the agenda for the board to discuss: Whether the church should buy a new coffee machine for the foyer.
Updates to come upon availability.
Reporter: Crass Christian