Church of England apologises for believing the Bible
Shockingly this guidance took the Biblical view on sex and marriage:
“For Christians, marriage – that is the lifelong union between a man and a woman, contracted with the making of vows – remains the proper context for sexual activity.”
The church faced immediate backlash from those who self-identified as Christians including an open letter stating that such a belief was “offensive”. They also said that this guidance “significantly damaged the mission of the Church which is to preach the good news that everybody is already saved and can do what they like.” They implored the church to become a “truly radically inclusive Christian Church by being just like the world.”
The Church of England was quick to bow its head in shame and released the following response:
“We as Archbishops, alongside the bishops of the Church of England, apologise and take full responsibility for releasing a statement last week which had the audacity to follow Biblical teaching. We acknowledge this has jeopardised trust with those who don’t follow such teaching but still want to be called Christians. The Church will therefore seek to expunge Biblical teaching from its ranks so that people of all faiths and none are free to follow their own version of Christ.”
The world was quick to applaud the Church for taking such a heroic stance.
Reporter: John Spencer aka Not the Bible