Church prefers resounding gong to love

1 Corinthians 13 is a popular bible passage for wedding days where St Paul declares “If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.”

First Independent Fundamentalist Baptist Church in Georgetown, Kentucky thinks that this is a fair trade.  This Baptist church has already banned guitars for the sake of modesty and has also condemned Jesus for not wearing pants so as it was only a matter of time that love was going to be outlawed too.

The senior pastor, Dr. Hack Gyles, stated, “We’ll have nothing to do with the ungodly abomination of tongues in our church and Paul was clearly implying in 1 Corinthians 13 that love goes hand-in-hand with the operation of these gifts.  So it’s the resounding gong all the way for us.”

Dr Gyles glows with pride as he continued, “I’m pleased to say that my lil’ congregation here at the church have taken this message to heart with an enthusiasm I’ve never seen before.  I mean only this week Ron saw off a visitor who had the audacity to sit in his seat and Mavis hit young Jimmy who accidentally raised his hands during worship.” 

This week the church plans to share their clashing cymbals outside of their four walls with placards and shouting to condemn the locals for their “lyin’ and cheaten’ ways”.

We at the Cee are impressed at their dedication to this teaching series and eagerly await the publication of Dr Gyles’ book “The Clanging Gong Life” next year. 

We believe that churches will embrace this teaching with far more enthusiasm than they did with Rick Warren’s book.

Reporter: John Spencer aka Not the Bible