Churches who made Kanye unwelcome dismayed at Lakewood invite

Conservative churches offered a cool reception to Kanye’s recent claim to faith.

“You can’t just trust that anyone who says he’s a Christian is actually truly saved,” stated Larry, a reformed Christian from Alabama, “We know that in the parable of the sower, only some of those seeds grew strong. So I ain’t welcoming him as a brother in Christ until I’m sure that he’s actually going to make the distance.”

Larry wasn’t alone in his caution. Bob, a conservative pastor from Texas added, “Wheat and tares look very similar at the start, so we knew we needed to wait until it’s clear which he is before we were prepared to have him at our church, especially after his sinful past.”

However, this week Kanye attended Lakewood church much to their dismay, after a personal invite from Joel Osteen.

“I don’t understand how Kanye could fall for that false teacher,” stated Larry, “just goes to show that he wasn’t really a true Christian and we were right to withhold our hand of fellowship!”

Pastor Bob added, “We were like the older brother to him,” he sighed, “But we always thought he was going to turn out to be a Judas and attending Joel Osteen’s church shows just how right we were. I’m so pleased we didn’t welcome him to our church.”

Reporter: John Spencer aka Not the Bible