David Platt to Stop Trying to Convince Christians to Live Biblical Lives

Washington DC – After the success of books such as, “Radical” and “Counter Culture” which challenge Christians to be willing to give up everything and follow Jesus, just as the original disciples did, David Platt is shifting gears.

Reports from his church, McLean Bible Church, are indicating Platt has been asked by his church leadership team to “lighten up a little” and preach sermons that are deemed more appropriate to American culture.

“At first, he seemed a little resistant to the idea,” claims a church member who requested to remain anonymous, “but he’s come around to a more… ‘American’ way of thinking.”

Platt stated that he intends to even write a new book, with the working title, “You Probably Don’t Really Need Jesus After All,” slated for a Fall 2019 release.

Platt’s next sermon series titled, “Love Your Neighbor, Unless You Don’t Like Them,” reflects this change in attitude.

*This writer would like to take a short break and remind those who read this article that this is a parody/satire site, and nothing written above or below is actually true.*

Platt’s only comment was, “If Joshua Harris can write a book called, ‘I Kissed Dating Goodbye,’ and then change his position, I see no reason why I can’t do the same.”

Pastor Platt also has requested that people stop saying on Twitter that he looks like a half-starved Tom Brady, as he says that is hurtful. So, please stop doing that.

Reporter: Crass Christian