Death Bunny: Most effective Easter evangelistic tool revealed

The Hallmark company has revealed their new Easter accessory exceeded all their sales expectations. The ‘Death Bunny’ is a chocolate Easter bunny with a cross stabbed through its heart.

Relevant Magazine hailed it as “the perfect Easter evangelistic tool and dessert, all in one”.

“A quick sermonette with the Death Bunny is a highly effective way to preach the gospel to your friends,” said local Pastor M. Aerogant, “What could be better than informing everyone of the fact that their pagan traditions have been trounced?”

Orders of the Death Bunny quickly spread not just across the U.S.A. but also internationally, possibly due to the fact that it’s God’s will to use this product to evangelize the world.

Not convinced? 

Let this testimony change your mind:

“I was debating the problem with evil with a Christian friend of mine at our high school,” said former bad person Willy Neely, “but after five other Christians joined the debate and started screaming at me while holding the Death Bunny, I saw the light. The Easter Bunny has been replaced! It was that and their cheesy Christian T-shirts that won me over.”

Some Christians whose names we will not share with you have said things like a bunny with a cross through its heart is condescending, and culturally insensitive. And that a superficial gesture like giving someone a piece of candy to evangelize would pale in comparison to actually preaching the gospel and living a Christ-like life.

Obviously, these people are not serious about their faith.

The death bunny is hollow and is made of fake chocolate however we are assured that neither of these features are symbolic of its Easter evangelistic message. 

Reporter: The lonely rogue