Goldfish crackers shares plummet after VBS finishes
Stockmarkets around the world saw shares in the company that makes goldfish crackers crash this week. The little
So much so that the sudden drop in consumption after VBS finished this week caused a panic on the
A spokesman said, “At first we were baffled by the fall but then Jim, our janitor who’s a Christian, pointed us in the right direction. We simply had no idea that the church had so much buying power.”
Pastor Bob of First Baptist Church Andover, Kansas laughed, “Oh sure we love those goldfish crackers, especially
Juliette, a nervous
Juliette was one of the missing VBS volunteers that was found wandering the streets in a daze. Fortunately, she is receiving help and a lifetimes supply of goldfish crackers in recognition of her sacrificial service to haggard parents everywhere.
Since this discovery Pepperidge Farm is planning to introduce some special VBS themed goldfish crackers to help support their sales local churches. These will include a cracker with a coin in its mouth to help churches pay for their overheads the disciples pay their taxes to Rome and a larger whale version for swallowing kids whole retelling the story of Jonah.
Reporter: John Spencer aka Not the Bible