Joel Osteen bitten by werewolf. Releases new book!

Church Life

We at the Cee genuinely thought 2020 couldn’t get any worse when we heard that Stephenie Meyers had released a new Twilight book but how little did we know.

As we head into Halloween 2020, we have received official confirmation that Joel Osteen has contracted lyncanthropy after being bitten by a werewolf.

The consequences of this are huge!

It was bad enough when Joel covered his signature smile with a facemask and plunged the world into darkness – but what will be the consequences of him turning into a rabid wolf on the full moon?

It appears that Pastor Osteen anticipated the concerns and has released a book telling his readers that not only is he doing well as a werewolf – but he is living his best life nooooooooooooooooooow.

OK.

I’ll see myself out.

Reporter: John Spencer aka Not the Bible 

Pin It on Pinterest

Share This

By continuing to use the site, you agree to the use of cookies. more information

The cookie settings on this website are set to "allow cookies" to give you the best browsing experience possible. If you continue to use this website without changing your cookie settings or you click "Accept" below then you are consenting to this.

Close