Nokia brick phones included among the 144,000

The debate about the identity of the 144,000 servants of God sealed in Revelation 7 has finally been solved.  The passage “clearly” refers to Nokia brick phones.

This eschatological mystery was solved by Joshua Robinson, a recent convert who is also credited with identifying Paul’s thorn in the flesh.

“It was obvious really,” claimed the modest scholar with no theological background, “The 144,000 were those that were those that were not affected by the angels given the power to harm the land and the sea.  A Nokia brick phone is the only thing that can survive any power sent to harm it and so the seal must be the Nokia logo.”

Well there you have it.  No more sleepless nights for the whole of Christendom, unless of course they are heretics owning an iphone and therefore carrying the mark of the beast. 

Make no mistake it was an Apple not a Nokia that tempted Eve.  It may have looked pleasing to the eye but it led to destruction!

Reporter: John Spencer aka Not the Bible