Church measures attendance by weight
Trouble with falling church attendance? Well have no fear! Just change how you measure it! One church can now say that it’s expanding by 7% per year!
read moreJoel Osteen bitten by werewolf. Releases Halloween book!
We at the Cee genuinely thought 2020 couldn't get any worse when we heard that Stephenie Meyers had released a new Twilight book but how little did we know. As we head into Halloween 2020, we have received official confirmation that Joel Osteen has...
read morePeter denies Trump 3 times!
Peter, a “Christian” man from Alabama, committed the grievous sin of denying God’s anointed leader, Donald Trump 3 times on facebook!
read more9 out of 10 Christians admit to only liking Jesus’ head
A recent survey of Christians by the Institute of Research revealed that a staggering 9 out of 10 of them only love Jesus’ head.
read more10 things never said in church
Missing going to church due to COVID? Fear not! Here’s a list of 10 things that are never said in Church so you won’t be missing these things at all!
read moreChurch adds “Footprints in the Sand” to the biblical canon!
In an act of unity, the Catholic, Eastern Orthodox and Protestant churches declared the footprints in the sand poem as divinely inspired.
read moreCountry Music fans targeted by Chris Tomlin virus!
With attentions focussed on the COVID virus, little notice has been given to the ‘surprise’ Chris Tomlin virus that has recently infected Country Music.
read moreRecent Bible School Graduate Shocked to Still be Single
Recent Bible School graduate, Austin Millbarge, is shocked to find that he’s still single 4 months after graduating from New Hope Bible College.
read moreJohn MacArthur solves the parable of the wheat and the tares conundrum!
In the parable of the wheat and the tares (or the parable of the wheat and the weeds for those who have no idea what tares are and get them confused with tears) in Matthew 13:24-30, Jesus tells us about how the church will contain true Christians...
read moreHal Lindsey 2020 prophecies revealed!
Feeling envious of the “successful” John Hagee 2020 predictions, Hal Lindsey has also released his list regarding the future of 2020! We at the Cee ask that you consider Mr. Lindsey’s predictions carefully like the Wise Men did 2000 years ago. We...
read moreThe Salty Cee: where even the worst satire floats.