Pastor’s daughter declared “nearly perfect” by Pastor

Church Life

Multiple sources have confirmed that a local pastor’s daughter, Miss Grace Full, is in fact 99% above reproach; she is practically perfect like Mary Poppins!

In fact Barbie recently updated her look to reflect the perfection of Miss Grace Full who embodies how women looked before the Fall. 

Members of the church are always careful not to hurt or offend the daughter, obviously it’s because she’s awesome.

“I suggested to my preacher, Pastor Full, that his daughter might not be the best person to lead the church’s worship team,” said parishioner Cindy Sent, “but he informed me that I had been brainwashed by that youth pastor as she is ‘obviously a perfect singer’.”

“I don’t know why everyone is so frustrated with me,” said the daughter and princess, Miss Grace Full, “just because my dad lets me have first choice on where I volunteer, agrees to run all of my church events ideas, and I have starred in every Christmas play that my church has put on since I was in the womb, everyone seems to be mad at me!” Miss Full went on to sob a “little” but we promise, it was in a dignified and “perfect” way.

Lead Pastor Full had this to say, “The concerns about how my daughter is treated are entirely unreasonable. I remain entirely objective in the way I interact with her and my staff. Why, just yesterday she helped us decide on what color of carpet to put in the foyer and whether or not it should match the lobby as she is a perfect interior designer!”

Miss Full is also single and looks like she will remain that way for some time as no suitors have been good enough for her, according to her father.

Pastor Full then thanked us for the interview and hoped to see us this Sunday at his church, which he named “Amazing Grace and No Bias.”

We at the Cee thought about expressing our true opinion of his daughter but will not, seeing as we do not want to stop attending this church.

Reporter: The lonely rogue


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