Pastor’s kids seek reparations for being used as sermon illustrations

More than 1,000 pastor’s kids have launched a class action lawsuit against their dads as reparations for the trauma suffered.

“I never got to experience a private life,” sniffed David, “everything I did was used as an example in a sermon.”

“Imagine all your embarrassing stories being recorded and then shared with the world,” said a tearful Christine, “it’s just so demeaning.”

“I had to wear dark glasses,” spat Jonathan, “It was the only way I wouldn’t see everyone turning to look at me every time my dad mentioned something I done while he was preaching.”

“He never asked my permission,” ranted Deborah, “it was like casting my fine pearls before swine!”

It’s stories like these that have united these pastor’s kids from different denominations across the country to see that justice is done.

“All we’re asking that our parents pay us $100 for every sermon that we featured in,” stated spokesman Gideon, “in addition we’re establishing a church copyright licence system like CCLI to ensure that in future every use of our lives is properly rewarded.”

We asked Gideon’s father, a pastor of a small Baptist church in Texas, what he thought of his son’s proposals.

“Well, initially I was shocked but then I realised how this would make a great example in my upcoming sermon of the need for forgiveness…” 

Reporter: John Spencer aka Not the Bible