Pope Francis declares CCM Radio to be Purgatory
After a recent tour of the United States, Pope Francis issued a Great Papal Bull. Sources say that after the Pontiff had to endure one hour of Contemporary Christian Music, he immediately determined that listening to CCM shall be deemed as Purgatory.
He was going to limit the Bull to K-Love but after turning to WAY-FM he discovered that have the exact same playlist. Below are the stipulations:
- Ten minutes of listening to CCM= 1 Indulgence
- Thirty minutes= laity may miss one confession
- One hour= 1 year of Purgatory
- Ten hours = Sainthood
Other denominations such as the SBC, UMC, AoG, PCA, EPC, PCUS and Anglicans have been in talks how they can join forces to have an exorcism to rid the airwaves of corny Christian morning shows and songs that sound exactly the same.
An ecumenical solemn assembly has been proposed for October 31, 2018 in Lausanne, Switzerland that could produce the Lausanne Covenant 2.
Reporter: Northworst Seminary