Remote tribe glad to be wearing suits
A remote tribe in Morocco released a statement today, claiming that they grateful for being told by western missionaries that they now have to wear suits or skirts.
We interviewed the tribe’s chief for clarification:
“Normally my people and I were loin cloths to deal with the extreme African heat however, these godly white missionaries explained that we must dress to honor Christ now that we are a Christian people. The Amani suits and floor-length skirts are being used to sanctify us,” said the chief through interpreter, “The increased heat and new skin problems are a part of the cross we bear.”
“Christian men and women must wear suits and skirts,” the lead missionary interrupted before pointing a finger at a reporter who wore a tank top in the Moroccan heat.
“Dressing modestly is how the true church expresses its devotion as the Bride of Christ. It’s a sacred way that has been handed down from the first disciples and is what Christ meant by being salt and light. And God is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow!”
When asked whether or not Christ wore a suit, the lead missionary opened his backpack and took out one of the actual suits worn by Christ and eleven of the apostles.
At first our reporter was sceptical until he saw the enclosed certificate of authenticity.
The tribe were also awed and bowed their heads, though this turned to disappointment after they discovered that the missionaries would not accept goats as payment for these holy relics.
Reporter: The lonely rogue