Revealed: The real reason why Baptists hate the guitar

“It has long been a truth universally acknowledged that a Baptist church in possession of a guitar, must be in want of another instrument,” declared avowed Baptist Jane Austin.

But the question is, why is the guitar shunned from such churches? 

Why are organs and pianos believed to be favoured of God?

The answer has finally been revealed.

Modesty.

“What?” I hear you yell at your screen.

Yes, it’s true.  The Baptist denomination has long advocated for appropriate clothing for the ladies.  For example, you can always spot a female baptist by the length of her skirt.

Now whilst the church has not issued any edicts on underwear it probably would like to, except that would require them admitting that they are aware of such worldly and profane items.

And this brings us to why the guitar is banned and why they don’t respond to why except for some lame excuse about it not being godly.

The G-string.

Reporter: John Spencer aka Not the Bible