Revealed: Worship leader cunning plan for Coronavirus free church worship
With President Trump limiting church gatherings to no more than ten people to prevent the spread of the Coronavirus, one worship leader has come up with a novel solution to this problem.
Former worship leader at 23rd Baptist Church in Minneapolis, Ivor Geetar, explains, “As we know fog machines or even vaping mimic the glory cloud in the Temple and as such are an essential part of worship. Well why not add cans of Lysol to the fog mix?”
Armchair theologian Ivor Longbeard agrees, “The Lysol represents the fragrance of Christ and in the same way that the blood of Christ cleanses us from every sin, the Lysol will cleanse us from every germ and virus.”
However, others feel that this verse has been taken out of context, “The Book of Coronvirus clearly said, ‘Where 10 or more are gathered together, there I am also with them.’ So we must balance the cleansing cloud with the fact that soon as people leave it, they will get struck down.”
Ivor sees this as no obstacle, “It’s obvious how we can resolve these two verses – we simply remain in the glory cloud worshipping indefinitely!”
Given how Ivor was inspired by a Simon & Garfunkel song which led to a rather longer than anticipated worship session at his previous church and a rather shorter than anticipated job there, we at the Cee are convinced that his threat is real solution will bless many.