The Apostle Paul’s Thorn in the Flesh Identified
After years of debate, research, and sloppy guesswork, scholars and other curious Bible students have speculated as to the identity of the Apostle Paul’s thorn in the flesh.
Well, wonder no more!
Joshua Robinson, a young pastor who got saved last week, has declared himself to be the modern authority on this divisive topic that has split shallow congregations worldwide.
Our correspondent was able to speak the Junior Reverend and this is the information he imparted:
I used logic over exegesis because no one really knows what that word means. In my brief time as a follower of Christ, I was able to narrow down the field as to what Paul’s thorn may have been and I have reached a conclusion with precision.
If Paul had a bad back, ibuprofen could have helped, if he had poor eyesight, Lasik would have remedied the situation, but since God said “My grace is sufficient for thee,” it must have implied that Paul’s mother-in-law, Rose, was his thorn in the flesh, for only His grace could help Paul with his situation.
And there you have it! Indisputably, inarguably the most profound discovery in the last 2,000 years was made by a very common, undereducated seminary novice.
Who would have thought?
Now the Christian world can rest at ease that this conundrum has been put to rest—at least for this month.
Reporter: Angry Nursery Worker
Where even the worst satire floats 
