VBS Scavenger Hunt: missing volunteers found wandering in a daze

Church Life

A Kansas church Vacation Bible School ran a scavenger hunt with a difference this year: Find the missing VBS volunteers.

“At first we thought they were really good at hiding, but then when they didn’t surface for their caffeine injection we realized something was amiss,” stated Jim

The missing VBS volunteers were finally found yesterday as police joined in the family friendly hunt and expanded their search to include the surrounding cities.

“They were just wandering around, dazed… Most frightening thing I have ever seen in my thirty years on this job,” Officer Chatterwink stated in a press release this morning. “They were just wandering there, dazed, babbling something about freedom. It was awful!”

Officials say they found the six missing volunteers walking down the street near a rehabilitation center in Letko. The volunteers were attempting to break in to the facility shouting, “Please, make it stop! So many of them! Everywhere!”

Officials have been trying to discern what happened to the volunteers to have placed them in such a fragile mental state.

One volunteer was coherent enough to tell reporters the following: “I thought I loved children…but I was wrong… so wrong… the screaming, the laughing,…make the voices stop!” The volunteer then ran off-camera holding her head and shaking uncontrollably.

It appears that the local church in question cut costs by not employing any therapists who had studied Stanford University’s VBS Volunteer Trauma Therapy Program.

The police are continuing their investigation in to this matter, however the Deputy Attorney General has released this statement: “We need to make sure that our VBS volunteers are adequately prepared for the intense trauma of handling so many children at once.  give them all and all-expenses paid week at a secluded resort where they can recover from their experiences and begin to have a normal life again.”

So far, the local churches have refused to comment.

Reporter: The lonely rogue

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