Vegan Catholic refuses to eat the body of Christ during communion

“How can the Catholic church claim to be stewarding creation if they still cling to meat-eating during communion?” says Aloe Vera a devout vegan Catholic.

“The whole Body of Christ thing is akin to cannibalism!” she laments.

“Many churches serve non-alcoholic wine to cater for alcoholics, gluten-free wafers to cater for those with celiac disease and taste-free wafers to cater for those who want to experience more of the sufferings of Christ during communion. Heck! Some churches have even partnered with Lunchables to upgrade their communion! while other offer pumpkin spice communion during the Fall.  So why is it so hard to offer tofu communion for vegans?”

Some days Aloe regrets not being protestant: “At least then there would be no transubstantiation and so I wouldn’t worry about eating the actual body of Christ…I’d only be concerned about whether the bread it was organically grown and carbon-neutral and…”

We left Aloe listing her concerns as it seems that the Church cannot please everybody all of the time and, as we’ve learned today, cannot please vegans any of the time…

Reporter: John Spencer aka Not the Bible