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Worries over Nicodemus behaviour after meeting with Rabbi Jesus

Church Life

JERUSALEM – The upper city is in an uproar as reports are coming in regarding well-known teacher and Pharisee, Nicodemus, who has suddenly gone missing.

Reports from the marketplace have come in that several strange purchases were made throughout the week. These include a stroller, several minas of levin-free Enfamil®, and packs of diapers.

Additional reports verify Nicodemus spent a good portion of Friday afternoon contacting local OB/GYN offices seeking an appointment. Dr. Noam Adelman says he turned Mr. Nicodemus away multiple times:

“He just kept saying, ‘I really need an appointment. I haven’t even had a sonogram and I’m almost due. I’m going to be born again soon, and I need a prenatal checkup.’ He needs his head checked, that’s what he needs.”

Speculation is rising that Nicodemus’ current mental state is the result of listening to strange teachings from a Nazarene Rabbi named Jesus.

Many reports are coming in regarding similar stories in which this Jesus has confused audiences with stories he calls parrah bolls.”

The Synagogue’s High Priest, Caiaphas, has openly accused Jesus of intent to orchestrate a coup and is seeking him for questioning.

Likewise, the search for Nicodemus continues as well. He was last seen near the Pool of Siloam Saturday morning in the fetal position and mumbling “goo goo gah” repeatedly.

The temple guards are asking the general public to share any information they might have in regards to his whereabouts.

Reporter: Furious Christian

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