Greta Thunberg rebukes White Island Volcano
The White Island volcano eruption in New Zealand has seen Greta Thunberg charter a sailboat to travel there to face down this pollutant.
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Santa calls it quits after contractual disagreement
Santa Claus quit his job today citing breach of contract. He was heard to shout, “I can’t be expected to work under these conditions!” before storming off.
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Homeless Anticipate Yam Season again
Over the coming weeks, food drives will receive their annual glut of canned yams and, reportedly, excitement is building among homeless populations.
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Student self-identifies as illegal immigrant
Freshman political science Major Justine Case announced via Twitter how she self-identifies as an illegal immigrant despite the hostile environment.
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Democrats Back Women’s Right to Choose up to 90th Trimester
As the Democratic Presidential race hots up, each tries to outbid each other on the limit to abortion to secure more votes.
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EXCLUSIVE: Jeffrey Epstein issues posthumous statement!
In an EXCLUSIVE to the Salty Cee, Jeffrey Epstein admits via a posthumous recorded statement that he did in fact, commit suicide!
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Middle-aged, Out-of-shape Native American Demands NFL Tryout
A Middle-aged, out-of-shape member of the Mi’k-maq Tribe was arrested for protesting without a permit in front of the headquarters of the NFL today.
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Climate Scientists to be given 501c3 Tax exempt status
Greta Thunberg has been elected supreme moral authority of the world and will appoint climate scientists as advisors with 501c3 tax exempt status.
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Introvert’s Worship Experience Completely Derailed by Meet and Greet
An introverted Minnesota woman this past Sunday was unable to return to a place of surrender after an impromto meet and greet during the service.
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Plain Milk to be renamed Caucasian Milk
President Trump issued his most progressive order against racism: plain (white) milk must now be referred to as “Caucasian milk”
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The Salty Cee: where even the worst satire floats.
The Salty Cee
Where even the worst satire floats 
