Brett Kavanaugh ‘categorically’ denies claim about preschool behavior

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Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh has come under fire by Democrats & #metoo supporters because of alleged sexual misconduct while he was in preschool.

According to Susie Jones who is in Judge Kavanagh‘s preschool class he approached her on the playground and stole a kiss from her when they were on the merry-go-round.

According to Ms. Jones, She felt violated and told her teacher. However, Mrs. Simpson The preschool teacher has no recollection of it.

Ms. Jones now a registered Democrat said, “how can we let a man who would steal a kiss from a four-year-old girl decide the fate of laws in the United States?”

An outraged Nancy Pelosi said, “With these allegations, Judge Cavanagh needs to recuse himself immediately.”

Judge Cavanagh categorically denies this claim. “I didn’t even like girls till I was nine years old. I thought they all had cooties.”

In other news, a recent study in Neuroscience shows that memories of Democrats are dramatically improved when Republican judges are nominated or when Republican senators are elected.  If these results are verified then it could provide the key to helping Democrat patients with Alzheimer’s. 

Reporter: Northworst Seminary

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