Chris Pratt MTV speech: God refuses glory

Chris Pratt was honored with the Generation Award on Monday’s MTV Movie and TV Awards ceremony.

Much has been said about the Chris Pratt MTV speech with its 9 rules of life which made mention of God which has been applauded by many but also criticised by theologicians.

Many criticised his witness as he is known to cuss.  Others instead focussed on his poor explanation of the gospel as the name of Jesus wasn’t mentioned explicity and there was no discernable altar call.

Still others focussed on his poor grasp of pneumatology by using the Star Wars inspired “force” to describe the work of the Holy Spirit.

Regardless of the reason, all Christian theologicians were unanimous in agreement that Chris and his speech were imperfect and thus God would not be glorified.

However, God whose thoughts are certainly higher than theologicians thoughts, has announced through His social media channels that they were all wrong.  The real reason for it not glorifying Him was due to the use of the word “poop”.

Multiple theologians are now consulting the Bible for a greater understanding of God’s views on this much neglected subject as well as consulting experts in Ancient Near East scatology.

Expect a multitude of books to be released in the near future at your local Christian bookstore.

Reporter: John Spencer (aka Not the Bible)