Governors Consider Jacket Mandate for Fall Season
With the Summer season coming to a close soon, and Fall just around the corner, several governors across the U.S. are considering issuing jacket mandates for their citizens.
Following the success of mask-wearing mandates to protect their residents against the Coronavirus (with the exception of the bacon face mask), it was only a matter of time before governors realized that they could protect their citizens against other hazards.
According to Governor Abbott of Texas, the fall season can bring chilly weather that only gets colder as Winter approaches.
“Jackets just make sense,” he said. “We need to follow the science. Cold weather brings all kinds of uncomfortable issues. Our health experts say symptoms include shivering, chattering teeth, and even something called ‘frost’ can bite you. Requiring Texans to wear jackets at all times will protect them from this blight.”
Governor Whitmer of Michigan added, “I’ve heard going outside without a jacket could even cause you to catch a cold.”
When this reporter pointed out that colds are actually caused by a virus, a type of coronavirus in fact, Governor Whitmer fainted.
Sources say she is now considering requiring all residents to stay in a plastic bubble for the remainder of their natural lives.