Hallmark releases biblical Halloween costumes

Kansas City, MO-Hallmark corporation has taken a bold marketing strategy and recently unveiled its new line of biblical Halloween costumes.

“I fully endorse these new Halloween costumes,” said Franklin Graham, son of the late world renowned evangelist Billy Graham, “there is no better way to introduce someone to God’s truths then to knock on their door in the middle of the night and scream at them until they give you a piece of candy. Once you have the candy, immediately ask them if they are saved.”

This past Easter Hallmark released an Evangelistic candy called the Death Bunny; selling biblical Halloween costumes is only following suit.

Should a Christian dress up for Halloween and not wear one of these biblical Halloween costumes, it is obvious that this person is not serious about evangelism or their faith.

Some of the costumes include the trounced Egyptian gods in their true forms, prophets of Baal complete with self-inflicted stab wounds, Goliath’s severed head, and a John the Baptist costume complete with a head you can carry.

Samson the Judge was considered to be one of the costumes but because he suffered from toxic masculinity, his costume was discontinued. Instead, you can dress up as one of Samson’s victims complete with a piece of Dagon’s actual temple in your head.

Biblical Halloween costumes are sure to be popular this year seeing as not even one of them will require any kind of explanation.

In the past, Christians have dressed up as angels on Halloween and told others that they would be the ones to carry the souls of those who did not make Christ their savior, into hell. While this may be an effective evangelism technique, we do not endorse these costumes seeing as they were not made by the Hallmark corporation.

Reporter: The lonely rogue