HBO Reboots Children’s and Family Classics As Adult Fare

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With the recent news of the SyFy channel rebooting ‘70’s Saturday morning classic The Banana Splits as an R-rated horror movie  and Quentin Tarantino reportedly writing and directing an R-rated version of the beloved ‘60’s icon, Star Trek , HBO has announced a new lineup of classic kids and family classics that will now cater to a decidedly adult audience.

“These beloved, iconic TV shows from our childhood are ripe for updating for a more mature audience, consistent with 21st century mores,” HBO announced in an official press release.

First up would be The Real Housewives of Bedrock, where Wilma and Betty would be the main focus while Fred and Barney would be relegated to minor, occasional roles. The series would focus on the drama and tension of Wilma and Betty’s friendship with each other as well as other women of Bedrock. According to the press release, we can expect all the drinking, cat-fights and profanity you’ve come to expect from the Housewives franchise, but without bleeping the swear words.

Also expected is Criminal Minds: Sesame Street. Each season would focus on a different serial killer and/or rapist terrorizing the inhabitants and the search to find him (or her) through the use profiling. The violence would be explicit rather than toned down as in the original CBS series so viewers can expect bloody, gory, graphic sex and violence.

Finally, HBO announced a reboot of perhaps the most innocent children’s program of all, Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood: After Dark. The only thing we can print about this particular show on this website is the new Mr. Rogers, played by porn star Ron Jeremy, gets VERY friendly with his neighbors.

As these series are being produced by HBO Productions, viewers can expect the same level of violence, profanity, full frontal nudity and sexual activity as seen on their other original programming, such as Game of Thrones. HBO expects to premiere these shows in Spring, 2020..

Reporter: Jeff the Comma Head

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