Instagram update leads to dramatic increase in prayer
Instagram head Adam Mosseri commented, “We have heard repeated requests by our users to restore the chronological timeline. So we have responded by completely changing the way the feed works so that it goes sideways rather than upwards.”
This “small test” apparently went wide by accident and resulted in weeping and gnashing of teeth by the general populace. With many crying out unto God saying, “Fix it Jesus!” on Twitter, which is the Lord’s preferred social media.
In fact, this surge in prayer resulted in churches opening up their buildings for prayer meetings so people could call upon the name of the Lord in this time of trouble.
Ronald Weinland, who has stated that Christ will return in 2019, claims this Instagram update marks the beginning of the end.
However, Facebook denied that it was a test – claiming instead that it was a “bug”. They also denied that they were the beast mentioned in Revelation and, well, denied everything really except the urge to make more money from advertising on Instagram.
But it seems that their plans have really gone sideways (cue groans at poor dad joke) with this update and it was removed within 15 minutes.
However, the many prayers that the chronological timeline would return still remain unanswered.
The only people whose prayers were all answered were those of the directors at Snapchat, whose own update earlier this year sparked similar outrage and has caused a decline in the number of daily users since.
Reporter: John Spencer aka Not the Bible
Where even the worst satire floats 
