Jets Fans Pray, God Answers. Sorta.

Florham Park, New Jersey – A small group of New York Jets fans gather to pray every morning at First United Methodist, even though several of the group are of different denominations.

Ronald Andrews, a lifelong fan of the Green and White broke it down like this for us, “Well, we come from all shapes, sizes, ages, and even denominations. The one thing that really unifies us is our love of the J-E-T-S! JETS! JETS! JETS!!!”

Jerry Phillips, also a Jets fan, stated that their love of football goes even deeper than their love of Christ. “See, in football season, most of us have a deal with the Lord, see. We go to church throughout the year, but He understands football season is time for us to gather together, encourage one another, you know, build each other up!”

Ronald Andrews agrees, “See, Jerry, he’s a Catholic. Barbara, over there is a Methodist, and well, I’m a Seventh-Day Adventist, so I guess Sunday football games don’t really bother me none.”

But the real story here comes from the group’s recent supernatural experience. “We were prayin’ over in the fellowship hall, see,” states Jerry, “and we were all askin’ the Lord to be with our new QB, Sam Darnold, and to just make sure Teddy Bridgewater’s knees hold together, and that Josh McCown can find the right receiver at the right time – bless his heart – and that’s when we heard the Lord speak!”

Barbara Wilson, the aforementioned Methodist, believes the Lord spoke clearly, “It was like this, we were praying and seeking the Lord about our Quarterback situation when we heard a still small voice whisper, ‘You guys are gonna suck again this year.'”

“We knew right then and there,” Jerry Phillips stated, “It was gonna be another 16 games of the same old Jets.”

Brett Taylor, the youth pastor at First United Methodist and a devout New England Patriots fan was not available for comment. However, security footage from the 7-Eleven across the street saw him scurrying from the building at the same time the prayer meeting was taking place.

 Reporter: Crass Christian