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Man Outraged To Learn He Has Been Trolling A Parody Account

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Beech Grove, Indiana – Luke Jackson, a proudly single McDonald’s Manager has voiced his outrage and his outrage has been heard.

Mr. Jackson has spent the past several months trolling – an internet term for harassing – a parody account on Twitter.

“I started with just a snarky reply to one of his attempts at a joke,” Luke stated, “And looking back, I guess it was kind of funny, actually, but I thought he was serious.”

The tweet in question was kept out of this article to protect the anonymity of the anonymous writer of the account and their humorous jokes.

“I would spend nights, up until 3 am just waiting on this person to post something they thought was clever, usually they’d write about religious stuff,” Mr. Jackson explained, “and then I’d hit him with a Scripture I’d worked hard to take out of context.”

The obsession then took a dark turn:

“I was screaming at my laptop, ‘WHY WON’T YOU PAY ATTENTION TO ME? WHY DON’T YOU HATE ME BACK?’ and it turns out, it was because,” Luke wiped the tears away from his eyes, “I realized, they didn’t care. They didn’t know me, and I was just some …”

The words Luke Jackson was looking for were “pathetic loser,” but he couldn’t quite say it.

After all, he considered himself a success after trolling several accounts to the point of deletion.

“This guy, or girl, or whatever, just – he just made jokes and clearly didn’t care.”

The Salty Cee believes they have obtained an email statement from the anonymous parody account early this morning when word leaked on the internet we were about to break this story.

The email was from anonaccountsRus@hotmail.com and read, “The truth is, Luke, I don’t have notifications turned on my phone most of the day because of work. And, frankly, I muted you about 6 months ago. But, it’s nice to know you just wanted me to care. Sadly, I do not. I hope you move on with your life.”

We are not 100% sure if this is an authentic email, as nobody really uses Hotmail anymore.

Reporter: Crass Christian

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