Joe Biden declares he’s only 10 to 15% Calvinist
Former Vice President Joe Biden told supporters that he was only 10 to 15% Calvinist as only 10 to 15% of Americans “are just not very good people”.
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China criticises America for not silencing media about racism
The Chinese Foreign Ministry took America to task for not doing enough to ensure silence in the American media about racism.
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Nike stores welcome looters!
Woke sports company Nike announced today that looters are welcome in any of their stores nationwide during the George Floyd riots.
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Local residents help visiting George Floyd rioters by burning their cars
We at the Cee are proud to bring this beautiful story of good coming out of the death of George Floyd in the custody of four Minneapolis police officers.
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CDC: MySpace is safest social media site during coronavirus pandemic.
With the current focus on ending the Coronavirus lockdown safely, the CDC has praised MySpace as the safest social media site for people to congregate.
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Pandas: “We were social distancing before it was cool.” Hipsters rejoice
Hipsters celebrated at craft breweries throughout the nation after pandas announce: “We were social distancing before it was cool.”
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Shock as millions of black Americans suddenly discover they’re white!
After watching the Joe Biden interview on the Breakfast Club today, millions of black Americans were shocked to discover that they weren’t actually black.
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Masked man robs convenience store: 4,226 suspects in custody
A masked man was caught on security cameras robbing a local convenience store. Police took 4,226 masked men who fitted the description into custody.
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5 second rule to be reduced due to Coronavirus fears
Given how long the Coronavirus survives on surfaces, the WHO has taken the unprecedented step of reducing the 5 second rule to 3 seconds “just to be safe”.
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Fears Rise of Foul Wind Carrying Coronavirus
Scientists are investigating if COVID-19 can be transmitted in particles escaping the body via the release of foul wind, commonly known as farting.
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The Salty Cee: where even the worst satire floats.
The Salty Cee
Where even the worst satire floats 
