Professor Urges Students to Rupture the Family Unit this Christmas to Spread SJW Message of Tolerance, Love, and Peace on Earth

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In order to spread the message of tolerance, equality and goodwill among men mankind peoplekind this Christmas, a prominent Professor of Humanities has urged her students to create chaos, disorder and mayhem amidst their extended families during the holiday season.

Irma Goosestep, long-standing Professor and Dean of the College Real Academic Progressives (CRAP), announced on Friday to her Graduation Day audience, “Create family friction, rub your folks up the wrong way, even destroy whole families if you can, but for goodness’ sake spread the SJW message of peace and harmony!”

“And don’t be afraid to reduce that Great-Aunt to grovelling tears,” she exhorted the group of nearly two-thousand students, “After all, it’s only her fault if she still clings to outdated elitest titles.”

Professor Dr. Goosestep had created a furore only a few months before for suggesting that the title of Thanksgiving be changed to ‘Unthanksgiving’. This “to show how little we have to be thankful for” she was reported to have said as she stuffed a Camembert-seasoned turkey-breast into her mouth.

“Down with entitlement!” she had proclaimed with raised fist.

“In a society that has achieved the highest living standards and levels of human rights in all recorded history, it is important to grasp at any given opportunity to expose the vicious patriarchal oppression and crushing totalitarian brutality in our midst. As an authority figure I am giving you permission to be as big a jerk as you can.”

“This is sure to convince people of the rightness of our message and see the benefits of living in a truly tolerant society…”

Reporter: Gregory Rogers


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