Trump Kim

SINGAPORE – As Air Force 1 landed at Changi Airport in Singapore, U.S. President Donald Trump was in great spirits as he approached the nuclear summit with North Korean leader Kim Jong Un. As he ambled down the jet stairs waving to the people, he could be heard singing “summit time, summit time, sum-sum-summit time.” Asked the reason for his positivity, President Trump said:

“Kim is a very attractive woman. I just like being in the same room with beautiful people. I totally support this Nu-clear skin line she’s promoting. It’s fantastic. I can absolutely see why the people of North Korea made her their leader. That Kanye, WOO! That guy is winning. Win-ning.”

Following the summit, the President gave the following statement:

“We never really talked about the Nu-clear product line, but I think we made some progress. There were a lot of interested reporters there from around the world. Naturally, I was disappointed Kim couldn’t make it but I get it. Keeping up with the Kardashians isn’t just a highly successful TV show. Thankfully, Kim used her Hollywood connections to send that nerdy Asian kid from Goonies as her spokesman. I love that guy. He’s fantastic. I kept pointing at his feet and saying ‘slick shoes, slick shoes’. We laughed a lot.”

Reporter: Furious Christian

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